Fat-Assery Report

FatAsstoBadAssLaNita

Years ago when I was blogging on MySpace, a friend had a blog called The Jack-Assery Report where she would talk about people she met who acted like a jackass.  She is a great writer with a lot of humor so it was one of my favorite blogs!  Sadly, her life got hectic, she focused on other things, and deleted her blog.

At that time, I had been widowed for about a year and a half and was struggling to pull my life together.  Before my husband was killed, I had been easily losing weight, but after his death, I gained it all back and then some.  There was little to nothing healthy about my life then.  I did not know how to cook for just one person and it was easier to hit a drive-thru on my way to class.  If I did not have class, I would invite my friend out to eat, just to distract myself and get out of the house.  I skipped meals which meant I binged when I did eat.  Since my husband died, I went from a perfect 8-hour sleeper to insomnia (something I still struggle with today).  And as a full-time student working on a master’s degree in history, I spent most of my time either sitting at a computer or reading.

One day while sitting in line at Burger King, I wondered, “Am I slowly committing suicide by drive-thru?”  I could not say no.  In those 2 years, I went from being about 45 pounds overweight, doubling that to 90 pounds over.  I found a personal trainer I liked and when he found out I blogged about my grief, he encouraged me to also write about my weight.  Not wanting to combine the two blogs, I started a weight loss blog, asking my friend if I could use her idea The Jack-Assery Report, changing it to The Fat-Assery Report.  She loved the idea and my weight loss blog was born!

I was not able to lose weight but I did stabilize my weight for about 5 years… until my dad got sick and passed away in 2013.  Many more pounds later, I am beginning my weight loss journey and blog again.  Hopefully others who are also struggling with weight loss, or have been successful, will find me and send encouragement!  For my weight loss entries, check out my Fat-Assery Report!

Fat Ass to Bad Ass Y’all!

Southern Yang

What is a Southern Yang?  It’s me! Or rather my writing pseudonym. The nickname came about back in 2006 when I first started blogging.  I was newly widowed and needed an outlet to keep my sanity.  My best friend and rock, Nadine, helped me set up a MySpace page, then showed me how to maneuver through this foreign world of social media.  With her help, I was all set to start writing, except I did not have a name for my blog.

I knew I wanted either “Southern” or “Hillbilly” to reflect my Virginia roots but beyond that I was clueless.  Everything I came up with (Southern Twang being my favorite) was already being used. Then someone made a comment about Nadine and I being Yin and Yang.  That night I started thinking with all I was going through, her support really was the yin to my yang.  The light in my dark.  Opposite in so many ways, but we understood each other completely.  In such a short time, we connected and intertwined in a way that I knew she would be my friend for life.  She was the angel God sent to save me and I wanted to honor that.  So that night I became “Southern Yang”, and my blog finally had a title… Yang With a Southern Twang.

My days on MySpace are long gone, along with that original blog.  As all my friends migrated to Facebook, I eventually broke down and followed.  I moved all my blog entries to a new blog with a new title, but barely wrote at all.  I still felt that need to pull my jumbled thoughts out of myself, lay them out in print and somehow make sense of them, but I no longer wanted to do so publicly.  Looking back, my writing up to that point was a distraction from my pain.  I wrote about it, but not in a way that healed me.  I wrote to avoid being alone with it.  In my third year of widowhood, I knew it was time to truly face my loss.  I wrote, but I wrote for me.  I wrote to heal.  Occasionally, I would go to my blog and add an entry, with every intention of beginning again, but I never did.  It never felt right.  This time, it does.

So, many years later, here I am. I moved halfway across the country but despite the miles that now lay between us, Nadine is still one of my best friends and I am still trying to find my way.  Still getting to know this woman I am becoming.  One thing I do know for sure… life is too damned short and it is meant to be lived. We each may have our own destiny… if you are like me, you don’t know what that is but that is no excuse to not participate.  Destiny is not going to come looking for you.  This blog is about finding mine, finding me, and experiencing life along the way.